amy

We know this idea has been done at least one billion times. But here’s the thing – we haven’t done it, so what kind of weirdly socially-aware game developers would we be if we didn’t do it ourselves? So, without further ado, here’s a list of what your favorite House Party character says about you because, let’s be honest, we all know you like Frank a bit more than you’d care to admit.

Patrick

First off, you love to party. Duh. You might not be as aggressively drunk as Patrick at get-togethers, but you certainly admire his bravado. You likely enjoy people who are willing to do anything for a good time, and you probably think it’s not a good night unless you barely remember it, right? If Patrick holds the apple in your eye, then you should probably reevaluate your choice in friends, because we guess that Frank and Rachael aren’t the only ones who have kicked their asses (physically or emotionally).

Leah

You’re loyal, determined, and focused. You likely have a close-knit group of comrades who share strong beliefs and are willing to do anything for the people they love. You’re also likely in a cult, but that’s a discussion for a different day. If loyalty is the name, then athleticism is the game – your ideal person is someone who knows how to properly kick ass.  

Derek

Your life used to be a lot more interesting. We’re guessing that you peaked in high school and barely clung to your fame in college, and now, well, you’re at a house party. It’s okay buddy, every friend group needs that guy (or gal, or whatever). You struggle in romantic relationships due to your guarded nature, and once someone breaks your trust, it’s over. In all, you’re a pretty chill human who likes de-stressing with old pals and reminiscing about the good-old-days. 

Brittany

You’re pretty shy with new people, which sucks because you’ve got an awful lot to say. However, when someone gains your trust, you never leave their side, metaphorically and physically. Oh, and you may be from the South because Brittany’s southern drawl and constant conversations about spicy foods remind you of home. Also… just saying… maybe you should try your clothes out before attending parties with strangers because locking yourself in a room and refusing to come out is pretty weird. And we know you’ve done that before because you like Brittany, duh. 

Amy

Well, first, you’re adventurous because Amy’s new in town and never stops talking about it; you’re also bold because Amy is willing to ask a stranger for a condom to impress her sorority, and we know you resonate with that. Whatever it takes to win, right? You’re quiet, but not in a shy way, just in an “I’m-happy-to-listen” kind of way, and probably enjoy spending your spare time (as if that exists) exploring art museums and staying up-to-date on your local film community or something. We get it – you’re cute and sweet. You can stop rubbing it in now. 

Frank

Ahhhh, Frank. We all love Frank, but if Frank is your favorite, then you’re probably someone who, like Katherine fans, has way too many opinions. You’re fierce, competitive, and hard to get along with; but once you trust someone, oh boy – the loyalty never ends. Er… As long as they don’t fuck up, because then it’s a one-way ticket to They’re-Gonna-Get-Their-Ass-Beat City. And trust us dude, no one wants to go there. While Frank’s borderline unhealthy obsession with stopping the consumption of alcohol is strange, it makes sense to you. Because you gotta fight for what you believe in, dude. There’s a true heart beating underneath Frank’s wife-beater tank top; and anyone who doesn’t dedicate their entire life (and weekends) to fighting for their cause is an ass-munching-fart-loser and deserves to get their asses beat. 

So, we’ve already sprinted past the amount of words this blog post can handle, yikes. There’s a bunch of characters left, so tune back in soon for part two of this incredibly (un)original series.